A Surrogate Family: The sister’s perspective

This post was written by my amazing, supportive little sister. I have written about her in earlier posts, and about her reservations with me becoming a surrogate. Obviously she has come around and is now one of my biggest cheer leaders. Take it away, S…

When my sister first told me she was thinking about becoming a surrogate, I wasn’t quite sure what to think or say. Quite frankly, I said all of the wrong things in the moment. I straight up told my sister I would not support her through this journey. A lot of this was because I was scared that something bad might happen to her and how it would affect her kids. I was also being VERY selfish and was more concerned that she wouldn’t be able to help with my wedding as much as I wanted her to, or that she might be pregnant at my wedding and wouldn’t have as much fun. I was also worried that she wouldn’t be able to come visit her nephew as much as I had visited my nieces and nephew in the past couple of years. I wanted my sister and son to have the same connection that I do with her kids and didn’t think it would be possible if she were pregnant with someone else’s child. I had so many different emotions each time I thought about it.

Looking back on all of this now, I was extremely naive to what surrogacy entailed and how great of a gift it would be for a family lucky enough to match with someone as selfless as my sister. I have to admit, I do still find myself thinking about the worst case scenario sometimes, but I know those risks are there in any pregnancy, and my sister has proven in previous pregnancies that she is a pro.

Now let’s skip forward five or six months, here I am one of the biggest supporters of my sister (as well as her family) and C & J. Squishy is making himself (no I don’t know anything – I am just predicting boy!) comfortable in his temporary home and I get to be a part of it all! C and I have messaged back and forth quite a bit in the last couple of months and it was finally time for me to head to Manitoba September long weekend to meet both C & J.

As I pulled up to my parents’ house after a 9-hour drive I found myself feeling nervous about meeting C & J. Do I hug them? Do I shake their hand? What was I supposed to do in this situation??? In I went and my awkward self basically walked right into C’s arms and gave her a big hug. Though J and I hadn’t had the chance to talk at all before I couldn’t resist hugging him, too. Within the first 10 minutes of being home it felt like we had all known each other for years and it was completely natural.

After spending a couple of days with C & J it became very clear to me that they were the most deserving people and my sister could not have picked a better pair. They have fought so hard for this and I cannot believe that in less than 10 weeks C & J will make the drive back to Manitoba to finally meet Squishy!

Lots of love to C, J, the farm and Squishy!



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