Step 1: Screening

My screening in Toronto has been scheduled for the beginning of January, less than 2 months away. My H will be coming with me, which will be a nice mini one-night getaway after the holidays. The egg donor’s screening will be around the same time, at which point she’ll begin cycling for egg retrieval.

My first appointment will be with a social worker. Along with reviewing my application and other paperwork, she’ll do an interview with me and provide any necessary counseling, then meet with my H as well. The next appointment will be with the fertility doctor. My genetic medical history and fertility history will be reviewed. I’ll also have a physical exam which will include an ultrasound and blood work. From there, the doctor will determine my IVF plan and hopefully schedule my uterine lining check and embryo transfer.

Unfortunately C&J will be in Toronto for their appointments in December, which means we won’t get to meet them when we’re there. Hopefully our transfer will be scheduled for February and we’ll finally be able to meet.

The other big update is that more people in our personal lives are finding out about the surrogacy. I was out visiting my sister this past weekend, and while the topic of surrogacy came up, I didn’t get the opportunity to talk to her about my own plans face-to-face. The day after I got home she asked, and I knew I couldn’t lie. I told her about all the thinking, talking, and research that had gone into making this decision. I told her about C&J; their story, and the amazing connection we had formed. She was disappointed that I felt I couldn’t tell her earlier, but in the end she said she’s supportive. She reflected on how much her son has changed her life, and like me, couldn’t imagine life without him. She said that she couldn’t imagine being told that she would never have children, and that she was proud. And in that moment, I felt pretty damn proud, too.

In a roundabout way, my mother in law also put the pieces together and clued into our little (HUGE) secret tonight. While it’s a shock to her, obviously, after hearing that it wasn’t a decision made lightly, and hearing C&J’s story, she had nothing negative to say. I think once it really sinks in we’ll have her full support. She said that they’ll even take our brood while we’re out in Toronto in January.

So, the next step will be telling my parents, which should be interesting. I still have no idea how they’re going to react. My sister suggested sooner rather than later, and I think I agree. Either way, our decision has been made, the wheels are in motion, and hopefully I’ll be carrying C&J’s little one within the next few months. 💜


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