Did I make a mistake?

I’m feeling very unsettled this morning and need to get some things off my chest.

At the beginning of this process H and I decided we would sign up for the support service in case things with the local couple didn’t go ahead.  In doing so we met another great couple, C&J, who we have developed a connection with through email.

Yesterday we got news that J’s mom passed away unexpectedly last week.  Their families were close, so I imagine this has been a terrible week for C&J.  I feel awful for them.  They went through a lot last year with C and her medical issues (that have now led to them requiring a surrogate), and now this.  I did not expect to be so affected by their news, but my heart broke for them, and I have been thinking of them since I heard.

My worry is that we’re now going to hear back from the local couple and they’re going to want to go ahead. I’m going to have to be the bearer of more bad news and let down C&J.  They know that we’re talking to another couple, but I still feel sick about it.  I’ve made a real connection with them and really want to help them.

I really don’t want to let down C&J, so hopefully we figure things out with the local couple soon.


2 thoughts on “Did I make a mistake?

  1. Please do not feel regret. You’re doing an amazing thing for either couple. I would just have a serious talk with R&A and tell them that you would like to get a move on in the process. If they’re not replying to texts/emails, I’d send a message telling them that there is another couple interested & you don’t want to let them down if they’re not ready to move forward in the process. ::Hugs:: & I hope to read an update on your situation soon! Thinking of you…


  2. This is such an amazing gift and process, it will never be straight forward. I think you need to really trust and listen to what you are feeling. I believe that things work out the way they are supposed to.. Maybe you could introduce R&A to the surrogacy service and maybe they will find someone they connect with the way you have connected to C&J… Or maybe R&A will start the planning process with you and C&J will make another connection. There are proabably going to be many more times throughout this process that you question the decisions you have made or are making, but you know best what you want and need and when you feel pulled in a certain direction that is really telling. This is proabably going to be a very up and down emotional process. You are not obligated to anyone at this point. Hang in there and take some time to really see what direction YOU want to go in. xo


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